Giving Thanks

On this American holiday the Bradshaws will be hunkered down at home, minus the turkey. Instead, we will be sampling the glories of the Todd family dinner this coming Saturday so that all family members may attend.
In the meantime, I would personally like to give thanks to my favorite little dude for bringing so much laughter and wonderment into my life. 2008 has been a year of much loss and many hardships but our "short stack" has been a joyful distraction from all the harsh cruelties of the world. What was life ever like before he came along?

From our family to yours, have a safe and fulfilling Thanksgiving.

10 Months Today!!

Why The Chinese Are Morons

BEIJING (AP) - A newspaper published by China's ruling Communist Party is blasting the latest Guns N' Roses album as an attack on the Chinese nation.
Delayed since recording began in 1994, "Chinese Democracy" hit stores in the U.S. on Sunday, although it is unlikely to be sold legally in China, where censors maintain tight control over films, music and publications.
In an article Monday headlined "American band releases album venomously attacking China," the Global Times said unidentified Chinese Internet users had described the album as part of a plot by some in the West to "grasp and control the world using democracy as a pawn."
The album "turns its spear point on China," the article said.
China's Foreign Ministry did not respond to faxed questions about the article, although a spokesman speaking on routine condition of anonymity said: "We don't need to comment on that."
Spokesmen for the Culture Ministry and State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, government bodies that regulate album releases and performances, could not be reached for comment.
The Global Times article referred only to the title of the album and not to specific song lyrics. The record's title track makes a reference to the Falun Gong meditation movement that was banned by China as an "evil cult" and warns "if your Great Wall rocks blame yourself," in an apparent message to the country's authoritarian government.
Songs from the album could be heard on Internet sites such as YouTube and the band's MySpace page on Monday and it was not immediately possible to tell whether China's Internet monitors were seeking to block access to it.

Technology, meet Shel

Yesterday was a fun-filled day for yours truly. I've been in the market for a new phone/service provider since both have been royally sucking for me lately. My phone drops calls almost daily and I pay WAY too much for minutes I never even use. I dropped by T-Mobile on Union and, lo and behold, they were having a "grand opening party". Considering they opened a month ago I was a little baffled but hey - they had a clown who was doing face-painting! They also gave me two spins on a loud, obnoxious wheel of prizes where I won a $10 gift card to use at Walgreens and a bag with a cup and keychain, which my son thoroughly enjoyed chewing on.
Well, I pick out my phone which is a slider design, something I've always wanted to try. The guy ringing me up tells me they're having a drawing in a few minutes for a free Bluetooth headset so I drop my name in, just KNOWING I won't win. Well, when they called the name of the contest winner it took me a minute to realize that they had actually said the name Bradshaw. Yes, I won something! w00t!
You may now all turn totally green with envy over my string of good luck. ;)

Happy Halloween from Miles

Life Lost & Life Gained

Ok, so my Mom mentioned that I haven't written in awhile but now I have inspiration. 

To be completely truthful I've been going through an "existential crisis" of sorts (Douglas Adams would be proud) due to the recent death of my Papaw. If you will remember he was diagnosed with double lung cancer in July and this past Saturday, October 4th, he quietly and peacefully passed away in his sleep. The surreal of it all was that I was just sitting next to his side, hugging and talking to him just 3 days before he left this Earth. He remembered both Miles and myself and laughed everytime Miles made a loud "baby sound" which he would follow with a "He sure is a little character, isn't he?" I know for a fact that he would have adored his great-grandson had he lived a little longer to get to know him.

The funeral, aside from the torrential downpour, went off without a hitch. Miles was a dream, never making a peep, and even fell asleep on my Mom during the service. There were many flower sprays from relatives and people he went to church with along with a multitude of relatives I haven't seen in years. My cousins, my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Mark to name a few. Even my Mom's best friend from high school dropped in.

The Color Guard came out and a man played "Taps" while two other men folded the flag. If you've never seen this process, it is impossible NOT to get choked up while watching this honorable tradition. I hope in the greatest depths of my heart that I am never, ever presented with that flag.

The strange thing is that 2008 has been a year of many deaths in my family. We've lost 4 pets (I'm including Cooper since we haven't seen him in weeks) and I've lost the last 2 grandparents I have. It's a bit overwhelming. I've pretty much spent the last week in bed, not wanting to eat, drink, watch TV, or do anything but either sleep or stare at the wall. Call it sensory overload - I just broke down. And so did my body. I ended up at the doctor's on Friday and learned of the myriad of health conditions I've inflicted upon myself. I have an ear infection, kidney problems (which explains why my back has suddenly been hurting), I'm severely dehydrated and malnourished. My body felt my mind's negativity and simply began shutting down. I guess it's true that one really can make one's body do whatever one wants to.

Well, I felt so weak I spent the night with my mom so she could help with Miles while I rested and Matt worked. We checked my good friend, Catherine's blog Saturday morning and saw that she finally had her baby girl!! I looked at my mom and said, "Exactly one week after Papaw died." She nodded and said, "Life always goes on." I guess she's right.

So, goodbye to my Papaw Montgomery and welcome to the world, baby Calla.

I miss my baby :(

Pic caption: A scant 3 days old.
I know he's still a mere 7 months old. Not speaking, not really eating solids, not quite crawling, not exhibiting anything even a toddler does but I still have this sinking feeling that every day I'm losing the baby and gaining the kid.

He's progressing so very quickly I can hardly capture all his milestones (pun intended) on film or paper. Only this past week he's learned to sit up on his own. Every now and then I'll glance over at his play area and he's focusing intently on conquering standing at the activity table, putting those chubby leg muscles to work. When I was pregnant everyone told us "the time will fly so quickly" but I had no IDEA! Here it is, autumn already. Soon winter will be setting in and we'll be making plans for his first birthday. It's exciting but deeply wistful. I almost feel I'm not getting to enjoy my baby before he quickly moves on to the next stage in his life. This week I was looking at pics from when he was a newborn and I long for that tiny sack of potatoes in my arms, with his tiny cry and ever-clenched fists. 

Before I had Miles I was the anti-mom. I hated people with kids because of the way they acted. What made THEM think I wanted to see their kids' pics? Why couldn't they keep their brats quiet in public? And couldn't they refrain from boring topics like Susie's chicken pox or Eddie's first "big boy" tooth?!  Now I relish in such conversations - even with strangers! It's true that once you pop one out you gain instant admission into "the Parent Club". People in Walgreens will strike up conversations about anything and everything child-related when they see diaper wipes in your basket and I gladly have 10 minute conversations with them, asking for advice and guidance. Miles has changed my life in so many ways.

Now my heart-strings are being tugged because I see that he's doing just as he should - growing up and learning to become independent. Can I just say I don't like it? I wished for this progress for months: "as soon as he can hold his head up", "as soon as he can lay on his tummy", "as soon as he can roll over", "as soon as he can sit up without assistance" and now I hypocritically want to stop time to maybe go back a bit and relive this first whirlwind of a year at a slower pace.

He's so much more than I could have asked for and WAY more than I expected. Of course, no parent knows what kind of personality their little one will take on but boy was I ever unprepared!!

Take pity on your mom, Miles. Slow down just a fraction of a second and let me savor your moments as my baby, my sugarpop, my little dude. I already feel like you're a "big kid" and, yes, I already miss my baby. 

My Little Pumpkin

Baby's first Halloween costume: Go ahead, yuk it up. Laugh at the cliches. Blackmail for decades, I tells ya!

I've been calling Miles "pumpkin" since he was born so it's only natural that I have the desire to dress him as a pumpkin for his first Halloween. Matt is indulging me and letting me also take him out in public (*gasp!*) to the pumpkin patch next month to pick out his first jack-o-lantern. This will mean nothing to the little sprout but I'm personally excited! It was at precisely this time last year I entered my second trimester and really started "showing" and getting used to the idea that I would soon be a mom so autumn brings back good memories for me.

Of course, I went to Ebay in my quest and found one for under 10 bucks from a stay-at-home-mom. (Hey, gotta help out my peeps, y'know.) I only hope he doesn't grow so much in the next month that it's too tight on our little dude.

All this might not be a big deal to anyone else but Miles' first year is very important to me. I take hundreds, if not thousands, of pics because I want to capture every single, tiny moment since I'll never cross this path again. I want him to have a huge collection of photos to look back on and see how very, very much he was loved by his friends and family.

As a sidenote, today was little dude's first day in "Kids' Day Out" at Ridgeway Baptist Church. I signed him up months ago just to ensure Matt and I would have a 5 hour break at least once a week that we could look forward to. Also, I like the idea of him being around other babies and grown-ups besides just us and his Todd family. I chose this particular location because my kindergarten principal founded the new program. Yep, you read that right - the same woman who met me at 5 years old is still running around and educating the children of Memphis! She, of course, didn't quite remember me but she remembered my parents, since they were pretty big names with their band at the time.

I thought I would be a total mess all morning but I had been so stressed out over packing his bag properly and anticipation over leaving him in strangers' care for the first time that I crashed from 11-1 and woke up just in time to pick him up. Being up at 3am helped a bit, too. The women in his nursery said he did great and spent most of the day taking in his new surroundings. He's VERY recently learned to sit up so this enables him to see the world from a different angle and has also made him more interactive with people.

I noticed he had a "baby friend" named Samuel when I went to pick him up this afternoon. Samuel was several months older and had BIG blue eyes. He crawled towards Miles and laughed happily when they made eye contact so my hope is that this means he's becoming more comfortable around other kids. It's as if, by watching him grow, I'm growing up too. It's impossible for me to express to those without children how bittersweet the experience can be. However, the payoff is SOOOOO much more rewarding that any price paid is well worth the investment.

P.S. Bill Cosby has stated that people who only have one child don't REALLY have any idea what it's like to be an actual parent so I suppose you all should take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

On this date last year 8/18/2007

I went out to dinner with my parents and husband and was distraught over not being able to have a celebratory birthday drink. I also couldn't eat most of my food (2nd trimester weirdness) and had to bring it home where I'm sure Matt ate most of the leftovers.

Fast forward a year later and the sacrifice of that drink resulted in one of the most joyful experiences I have ever had.

I know you can't read this yet but I wanted to say it anyway: I love you, Miles. I look into your eyes and see myself. We can't be in the same room together without smiling at the other. Thank you so much for being a part of my life. My birthday will always have a new, special meaning because without this day you would not be here.

Today I do not celebrate myself, I celebrate you.

"You make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Where ever you go"

I GOT A JOB!!!

Of course, at the celebratory dinner we took the obligatory pic of the baby with a beer.

For once in a very, very long time two companies were competing over me. First, the option to have my old job back and secondly, the opportunity to get 50% off the cutest clothes for both Miles AND myself. Being me, I of course, took the job that gives me the virtually free clothes.

I went in this morning to fill out the paperwork and watch some corny training DVDs. I go in Saturday to learn how to handle the flow of customers and start a "real" schedule next week. It feels soooo nice to be back in the work force amongst other grown-ups and making real money again. I hope I do a really great job and impress the hell out of my new employers. Wish me luck, everyone!!

A new baby first!

Pic of the day: You can't possibly get any cuter than this.

Last weekend Matt and I hung out with our friends Beth and David who have two amazingly wonderful kids and...a POOL!! I didn't have a suit so B. was cool enough to lend me an old one of hers because I was so excited at the concept of Miles' first time swimming. Matt got some video and we think he really liked it!!

Visit our Bradshaw channel and you be the judge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpo4NurF5RA

Thanks to the Kolbs for being such gracious hosts. Maddy, I can't wait to play mailbox again sometime soon. Will, I'm looking forward to your scaring my kid again with your tremendous voice.

Sometimes I wonder...

The Fisher Price Starlight Papasan Cradle Swing

...if these toys are really more for Miles or us.

This thing is so p-i-m-p. It has a daytime music/lightshow setting as well as a nighttime one. It plays 16 different songs plus something that sounds like windchimes. You can, at the simple press of a button, turn it from swinging side to side to back and forth and the "disco ball" (as Matt calls it) is so cool I want to crawl into the crazy thing myself!

Baby adores this thing. I lay him down, put a blanket in his lap, his thumb goes into his mouth, his eyes look up at the rotating mobile and he's a happy little camper. Plus, with an AC adaptor I never have to worry about wearing out the batteries. Like most toys we buy him it ain't cheap but this Cadillac of baby swings is well worth every penny. All it needs is some spinning rims and it would truly be complete.

Mortality

Miles & Papaw earlier this spring
I just found out yesterday that my last surviving grandparent, my Papaw, has lung cancer. It is not so advanced that he'll be on his death bed within the next couple of weeks but there is no turning back. All I keep thinking is how much he has done for me ever since I was a little girl and how crazy he was about "the princess" (I was first-born and the only girl out of all my cousins). I got spoiled rotten and not only did I know it, I relished it. I love my Papaw just as much as he loves me.
Over the years I've become selfish with the whole "growing up, moving out, getting married, having a kid, losing touch" crap and feel regretful I haven't spent as much time with him as I should since becoming an adult. When someone in my family becomes terminally ill it takes precedent over anything else in my life and I spend maybe a bit too much time in reflection of my life experiences with them. Such as, when I was 20 and full of piss and vinegar I suddenly moved out of my parents' place. I didn't have a car so I went to my Papaw and asked if he'd co-sign on a lease with me. He did better than that - he took money out against one of his own CD's to BUY the damn thing and I got to decide how low my monthly payments would be. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done to help me spread my wings and pursue my own life.
The thing that bugs me is that Papaw is my mom's father and I have two other aunts to be concerned about. One of them is a 50 year old child who blows all her disability money at the casinos, the other made SUCH a scene at my Mamaw's funeral that I literally had to take her into another room to calm her down. I'm afraid they will either make this into a circus or make it about themselves - or both. My aunts have good qualities, after all they both came to my Grandmother's funeral in April, but they are loose cannons. I guess what I'm really looking for is some advice. I know some of you readers have lost people you care deeply about and I'm certain my heartache doesn't even compare to yours. Any words of comfort or advice on how to deal with the inevitability of death? I've already cried once today and am not sure how long I will feel this way. I am being faced with the realization that I am getting older and losing my family. It's not pleasant at all.

Happy (belated) 4th!!

With love, to all our friends and family.

- the Bradshaws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDA9NbPAK8o

Inspiration

Heartfelt thanks go out to one of my oldest and dearest friends who has known me since the ripe age of 15 years for providing me with the motivation to carry out what I did last weekend. Graf, I hope you're proud of me. Those of you reading this blog who know my DJ friend also may know he has one tattoo on the inside of each ankle dedicated to both of his daughters. It is with this very concept in mind I say - ladies and gents, you are looking at my newest and proudest piece of body artwork - the Miles tattoo. (This was taken the morning after. It's not red at all now and mostly healed.)

When I was pregnant I had a special song I used to sing to my baby and it was Cherish by Madonna. Granted, the lyrics are more romantic in nature but the chorus is what has always stood out to me: "Give me faith, give me joy. My boy, I will always cherish you." I have considered tattooing the word "Cherish" underneath Miles' name and birthdate ever since my first trimester but hesitated after meeting my artist at No Regrets Studio on Madison. I discovered that the lettering I wanted would take up slightly more room than I had previously anticipated so decided to wait and give the idea a bit more thought before being stuck with it for the rest of my life. Other than this slight angst I am very pleased at the rate this new ink is healing and am quite excited over my gumption to get the job done. It has been more than 10 years since my last tat and I wasn't sure I could muster the courage of a repeat performance. However, I sat tight with my Dr Pepper for the brief 10 minutes of work and chatted with my artist to distract myself from the irritating sting of the process.

This is my fourth, but not final, piece and it is located on my inner left ankle just about an inch above my anklebone. It makes me smile every time I look down to check on the healing progress and my hope is that someday my son will think this decision at least remotely "cool". If not I will, for lack of a better word, cherish this commemoration of his birth until the day my spirit no longer inhabits this planet.

Completely Insane??!!

Oh yeah. Totally there. Yesterday, while surfing, I picked out new baby boy bedding (to the right) and YES - baby girl bedding (to the left). I fantasized that we could paint the nursery a nice, robin-egg blue with the geo print and a bright, happy yellow with the moon and stars. Hello, hormones!!!

No Gnews Is Good Gnews

Pic of the day: Nana! Not in front of the guys!!

WOW - it's been quite awhile since I've updated my blog! Sorry to neglect you all but it has been a slow news month. Everything is blissfully quiet here at the Mayflower building as we all settle in for the long, hot summer. Miles has fully acquired two brand new teeth and has sampled oatmeal and bananas with them. He's had his first trip to the mall which he was not fond of. To give him credit, most men don't care for the mall to begin with so I really can't fault him too much.

This morning I went to yard sales with Mom (Nana) and man did this kid ever make out with some serious loot!! We hit about 5 different sales and got hundreds of dollars worth of clothes for about 50 bucks not to mention the dozens of books and colorful toys we scored. We always meet the strangest and most interesting people when we go to yard sales. Mom is a kind soul and believes in tipping the homeowners if they are reasonably nice and appear to be having the sale because they are in dire need of money. One rich lady had a huge spread of 30 year old crap that no one wanted and when she actually started collecting our things and counting up the total (something no one had done all morning) she totally lost her commission on the sale. It was obvious to us that this women had plenty of money, she was just cleaning out her attic. Plus, she was borderline rude so no extra spare change for her!

Also, I've noticed a phenomenon at yard sales that really has been bugging the living hell out of me: the Mexicans. Understand I have nothing personal against Mexicans or any other minority group for that matter as long as they act as decent and polite as I do. However, over the past year I have encountered various groups of non-English speaking Mexican folk who travel around to EVERY SINGLE YARD SALE IN MEMPHIS and almost ruin the whole experience for everyone around them.

For starters, they always attack in caravans. Huge vehicles packed full of entire families trail each other to hit every spot. They are notoriously cheap with the homeowners, lowballing them for every quarter. But what kills me most of all is how they will without hesitation walk right up in front of you, grab whatever it is you're looking at and walk away with it. Ever been in a buffet line and someone has the audacity to go around you in the line without even saying "excuse me"? That's the feeling I'm attempting to describe here. Hey, I like a deal just as much as anyone else but few things in life bother me more than abrupt rudeness. It's totally uncalled for and really rubs me the wrong way. What's the point I'm trying to make here? I dunno. Maybe I have PMS. I'm going to go finish my dill pickle and sort through my son's new clothes while I teach him Spanish as a second language so he can at least have the capacity to go off on jerks like this in their own native tongue.

Miles' First Graduation!

His cousin, the lovely Kaile, graduated from Hernando High yesterday and we all attended a celebratory dinner Friday night as well as the ceremony on Saturday. Congrats to Kaile! You looked amazing and did a great job. We're all proud of you!!

In other news Miles is teething AND has a cold. Talk about being hit with a double whammy.

Aww...Miles' first fever :(

Pic of the day: How Miles usually looks when awakening from a nap.

Our lil bit slept a LOT last night. From 5:30pm til 7:30am precisely! When he woke up he didn't appear to be sick but he certainly was not his happy, fun little self. He loves to play, smile and laugh at us and he didn't do any of those all morning long. He napped from 10 til 3 and when he woke up Matt noticed how warm he felt. Sure enough - he was running a small fever.

I called the nurse and she said Tylenol every 4 hours and to bring him in tomorrow morning if he wasn't better. My poor, sweet little boy. It just breaks our hearts to hear him whimpering pitifully while we're rocking him, snuggling him close and trying to calm him.

I know this happens to all babies eventually and that we're lucky it's taken almost 4 months before it's happened to us but it doesn't make it any easier once lightning strikes.

Naturally, we don't ask for prayer but we'd like our friends to keep us in their thoughts over the next couple of days.

Edited to add: As of the next morning my lil bit has awoken from a 12 hour sleep fresh, happy and fever-free. Hooray for Tylenol!!

First "Real" Mother's Day

Pic of the day: My beautiful mama's day roses!

Friday afternoon the doorbell rings so Matt goes to answer, thinking it was a tenant. No, it was UPS! And he walks in the door with a box from ProFlowers.com!! It was roses from my mom and dad. I told them not to make a big deal but they kept saying, "But this is your FIRST Mother's day and besides we think you're such a wonderful mom." Aww.
Then my great hubby brings me a basket of beautiful purple flowers and a balloon, knowing purple is my favorite color. If you have any doubts just look at my wedding photos. I also got this lovely mother-baby figurine from the Willow Tree line (I collect those.) I'm incredibly lucky to have such a great baby who is so easy and low maintenance. It is these days I will remember once he's a teenager.
Anyway, happy mama's day to all my mama friends out there, which pretty much includes each and every one of you these days!!