Ok, so my Mom mentioned that I haven't written in awhile but now I have inspiration. To be completely truthful I've been going through an "existential crisis" of sorts (Douglas Adams would be proud) due to the recent death of my Papaw. If you will remember he was diagnosed with double lung cancer in July and this past Saturday, October 4th, he quietly and peacefully passed away in his sleep. The surreal of it all was that I was just sitting next to his side, hugging and talking to him just 3 days before he left this Earth. He remembered both Miles and myself and laughed everytime Miles made a loud "baby sound" which he would follow with a "He sure is a little character, isn't he?" I know for a fact that he would have adored his great-grandson had he lived a little longer to get to know him.
The funeral, aside from the torrential downpour, went off without a hitch. Miles was a dream, never making a peep, and even fell asleep on my Mom during the service. There were many flower sprays from relatives and people he went to church with along with a multitude of relatives I haven't seen in years. My cousins, my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Mark to name a few. Even my Mom's best friend from high school dropped in.
The Color Guard came out and a man played "Taps" while two other men folded the flag. If you've never seen this process, it is impossible NOT to get choked up while watching this honorable tradition. I hope in the greatest depths of my heart that I am never, ever presented with that flag.
The strange thing is that 2008 has been a year of many deaths in my family. We've lost 4 pets (I'm including Cooper since we haven't seen him in weeks) and I've lost the last 2 grandparents I have. It's a bit overwhelming. I've pretty much spent the last week in bed, not wanting to eat, drink, watch TV, or do anything but either sleep or stare at the wall. Call it sensory overload - I just broke down. And so did my body. I ended up at the doctor's on Friday and learned of the myriad of health conditions I've inflicted upon myself. I have an ear infection, kidney problems (which explains why my back has suddenly been hurting), I'm severely dehydrated and malnourished. My body felt my mind's negativity and simply began shutting down. I guess it's true that one really can make one's body do whatever one wants to.
Well, I felt so weak I spent the night with my mom so she could help with Miles while I rested and Matt worked. We checked my good friend, Catherine's blog Saturday morning and saw that she finally had her baby girl!! I looked at my mom and said, "Exactly one week after Papaw died." She nodded and said, "Life always goes on." I guess she's right.
So, goodbye to my Papaw Montgomery and welcome to the world, baby Calla.
1 comment:
Shel,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that many people will and have said that it gets better, but your wondering if it will. I can say from personal experience that it does and it will be better. Slowly you will start to feel just the littlest bit better you would cry when you think about him and you will being to think of all the fun times you had, but it is hard. I lost my aunt in March to a stroke, Kyle was only 3 months old and she had not met him yet. Every now and then I still cry, but it is better. If you need someone to listen, talk to or just a shoulder to cry you know where to find me.
Post a Comment