I miss my baby :(

Pic caption: A scant 3 days old.
I know he's still a mere 7 months old. Not speaking, not really eating solids, not quite crawling, not exhibiting anything even a toddler does but I still have this sinking feeling that every day I'm losing the baby and gaining the kid.

He's progressing so very quickly I can hardly capture all his milestones (pun intended) on film or paper. Only this past week he's learned to sit up on his own. Every now and then I'll glance over at his play area and he's focusing intently on conquering standing at the activity table, putting those chubby leg muscles to work. When I was pregnant everyone told us "the time will fly so quickly" but I had no IDEA! Here it is, autumn already. Soon winter will be setting in and we'll be making plans for his first birthday. It's exciting but deeply wistful. I almost feel I'm not getting to enjoy my baby before he quickly moves on to the next stage in his life. This week I was looking at pics from when he was a newborn and I long for that tiny sack of potatoes in my arms, with his tiny cry and ever-clenched fists. 

Before I had Miles I was the anti-mom. I hated people with kids because of the way they acted. What made THEM think I wanted to see their kids' pics? Why couldn't they keep their brats quiet in public? And couldn't they refrain from boring topics like Susie's chicken pox or Eddie's first "big boy" tooth?!  Now I relish in such conversations - even with strangers! It's true that once you pop one out you gain instant admission into "the Parent Club". People in Walgreens will strike up conversations about anything and everything child-related when they see diaper wipes in your basket and I gladly have 10 minute conversations with them, asking for advice and guidance. Miles has changed my life in so many ways.

Now my heart-strings are being tugged because I see that he's doing just as he should - growing up and learning to become independent. Can I just say I don't like it? I wished for this progress for months: "as soon as he can hold his head up", "as soon as he can lay on his tummy", "as soon as he can roll over", "as soon as he can sit up without assistance" and now I hypocritically want to stop time to maybe go back a bit and relive this first whirlwind of a year at a slower pace.

He's so much more than I could have asked for and WAY more than I expected. Of course, no parent knows what kind of personality their little one will take on but boy was I ever unprepared!!

Take pity on your mom, Miles. Slow down just a fraction of a second and let me savor your moments as my baby, my sugarpop, my little dude. I already feel like you're a "big kid" and, yes, I already miss my baby. 

My Little Pumpkin

Baby's first Halloween costume: Go ahead, yuk it up. Laugh at the cliches. Blackmail for decades, I tells ya!

I've been calling Miles "pumpkin" since he was born so it's only natural that I have the desire to dress him as a pumpkin for his first Halloween. Matt is indulging me and letting me also take him out in public (*gasp!*) to the pumpkin patch next month to pick out his first jack-o-lantern. This will mean nothing to the little sprout but I'm personally excited! It was at precisely this time last year I entered my second trimester and really started "showing" and getting used to the idea that I would soon be a mom so autumn brings back good memories for me.

Of course, I went to Ebay in my quest and found one for under 10 bucks from a stay-at-home-mom. (Hey, gotta help out my peeps, y'know.) I only hope he doesn't grow so much in the next month that it's too tight on our little dude.

All this might not be a big deal to anyone else but Miles' first year is very important to me. I take hundreds, if not thousands, of pics because I want to capture every single, tiny moment since I'll never cross this path again. I want him to have a huge collection of photos to look back on and see how very, very much he was loved by his friends and family.

As a sidenote, today was little dude's first day in "Kids' Day Out" at Ridgeway Baptist Church. I signed him up months ago just to ensure Matt and I would have a 5 hour break at least once a week that we could look forward to. Also, I like the idea of him being around other babies and grown-ups besides just us and his Todd family. I chose this particular location because my kindergarten principal founded the new program. Yep, you read that right - the same woman who met me at 5 years old is still running around and educating the children of Memphis! She, of course, didn't quite remember me but she remembered my parents, since they were pretty big names with their band at the time.

I thought I would be a total mess all morning but I had been so stressed out over packing his bag properly and anticipation over leaving him in strangers' care for the first time that I crashed from 11-1 and woke up just in time to pick him up. Being up at 3am helped a bit, too. The women in his nursery said he did great and spent most of the day taking in his new surroundings. He's VERY recently learned to sit up so this enables him to see the world from a different angle and has also made him more interactive with people.

I noticed he had a "baby friend" named Samuel when I went to pick him up this afternoon. Samuel was several months older and had BIG blue eyes. He crawled towards Miles and laughed happily when they made eye contact so my hope is that this means he's becoming more comfortable around other kids. It's as if, by watching him grow, I'm growing up too. It's impossible for me to express to those without children how bittersweet the experience can be. However, the payoff is SOOOOO much more rewarding that any price paid is well worth the investment.

P.S. Bill Cosby has stated that people who only have one child don't REALLY have any idea what it's like to be an actual parent so I suppose you all should take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

On this date last year 8/18/2007

I went out to dinner with my parents and husband and was distraught over not being able to have a celebratory birthday drink. I also couldn't eat most of my food (2nd trimester weirdness) and had to bring it home where I'm sure Matt ate most of the leftovers.

Fast forward a year later and the sacrifice of that drink resulted in one of the most joyful experiences I have ever had.

I know you can't read this yet but I wanted to say it anyway: I love you, Miles. I look into your eyes and see myself. We can't be in the same room together without smiling at the other. Thank you so much for being a part of my life. My birthday will always have a new, special meaning because without this day you would not be here.

Today I do not celebrate myself, I celebrate you.

"You make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Where ever you go"

I GOT A JOB!!!

Of course, at the celebratory dinner we took the obligatory pic of the baby with a beer.

For once in a very, very long time two companies were competing over me. First, the option to have my old job back and secondly, the opportunity to get 50% off the cutest clothes for both Miles AND myself. Being me, I of course, took the job that gives me the virtually free clothes.

I went in this morning to fill out the paperwork and watch some corny training DVDs. I go in Saturday to learn how to handle the flow of customers and start a "real" schedule next week. It feels soooo nice to be back in the work force amongst other grown-ups and making real money again. I hope I do a really great job and impress the hell out of my new employers. Wish me luck, everyone!!

A new baby first!

Pic of the day: You can't possibly get any cuter than this.

Last weekend Matt and I hung out with our friends Beth and David who have two amazingly wonderful kids and...a POOL!! I didn't have a suit so B. was cool enough to lend me an old one of hers because I was so excited at the concept of Miles' first time swimming. Matt got some video and we think he really liked it!!

Visit our Bradshaw channel and you be the judge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpo4NurF5RA

Thanks to the Kolbs for being such gracious hosts. Maddy, I can't wait to play mailbox again sometime soon. Will, I'm looking forward to your scaring my kid again with your tremendous voice.

Sometimes I wonder...

The Fisher Price Starlight Papasan Cradle Swing

...if these toys are really more for Miles or us.

This thing is so p-i-m-p. It has a daytime music/lightshow setting as well as a nighttime one. It plays 16 different songs plus something that sounds like windchimes. You can, at the simple press of a button, turn it from swinging side to side to back and forth and the "disco ball" (as Matt calls it) is so cool I want to crawl into the crazy thing myself!

Baby adores this thing. I lay him down, put a blanket in his lap, his thumb goes into his mouth, his eyes look up at the rotating mobile and he's a happy little camper. Plus, with an AC adaptor I never have to worry about wearing out the batteries. Like most toys we buy him it ain't cheap but this Cadillac of baby swings is well worth every penny. All it needs is some spinning rims and it would truly be complete.

Mortality

Miles & Papaw earlier this spring
I just found out yesterday that my last surviving grandparent, my Papaw, has lung cancer. It is not so advanced that he'll be on his death bed within the next couple of weeks but there is no turning back. All I keep thinking is how much he has done for me ever since I was a little girl and how crazy he was about "the princess" (I was first-born and the only girl out of all my cousins). I got spoiled rotten and not only did I know it, I relished it. I love my Papaw just as much as he loves me.
Over the years I've become selfish with the whole "growing up, moving out, getting married, having a kid, losing touch" crap and feel regretful I haven't spent as much time with him as I should since becoming an adult. When someone in my family becomes terminally ill it takes precedent over anything else in my life and I spend maybe a bit too much time in reflection of my life experiences with them. Such as, when I was 20 and full of piss and vinegar I suddenly moved out of my parents' place. I didn't have a car so I went to my Papaw and asked if he'd co-sign on a lease with me. He did better than that - he took money out against one of his own CD's to BUY the damn thing and I got to decide how low my monthly payments would be. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done to help me spread my wings and pursue my own life.
The thing that bugs me is that Papaw is my mom's father and I have two other aunts to be concerned about. One of them is a 50 year old child who blows all her disability money at the casinos, the other made SUCH a scene at my Mamaw's funeral that I literally had to take her into another room to calm her down. I'm afraid they will either make this into a circus or make it about themselves - or both. My aunts have good qualities, after all they both came to my Grandmother's funeral in April, but they are loose cannons. I guess what I'm really looking for is some advice. I know some of you readers have lost people you care deeply about and I'm certain my heartache doesn't even compare to yours. Any words of comfort or advice on how to deal with the inevitability of death? I've already cried once today and am not sure how long I will feel this way. I am being faced with the realization that I am getting older and losing my family. It's not pleasant at all.

Happy (belated) 4th!!

With love, to all our friends and family.

- the Bradshaws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDA9NbPAK8o

Inspiration

Heartfelt thanks go out to one of my oldest and dearest friends who has known me since the ripe age of 15 years for providing me with the motivation to carry out what I did last weekend. Graf, I hope you're proud of me. Those of you reading this blog who know my DJ friend also may know he has one tattoo on the inside of each ankle dedicated to both of his daughters. It is with this very concept in mind I say - ladies and gents, you are looking at my newest and proudest piece of body artwork - the Miles tattoo. (This was taken the morning after. It's not red at all now and mostly healed.)

When I was pregnant I had a special song I used to sing to my baby and it was Cherish by Madonna. Granted, the lyrics are more romantic in nature but the chorus is what has always stood out to me: "Give me faith, give me joy. My boy, I will always cherish you." I have considered tattooing the word "Cherish" underneath Miles' name and birthdate ever since my first trimester but hesitated after meeting my artist at No Regrets Studio on Madison. I discovered that the lettering I wanted would take up slightly more room than I had previously anticipated so decided to wait and give the idea a bit more thought before being stuck with it for the rest of my life. Other than this slight angst I am very pleased at the rate this new ink is healing and am quite excited over my gumption to get the job done. It has been more than 10 years since my last tat and I wasn't sure I could muster the courage of a repeat performance. However, I sat tight with my Dr Pepper for the brief 10 minutes of work and chatted with my artist to distract myself from the irritating sting of the process.

This is my fourth, but not final, piece and it is located on my inner left ankle just about an inch above my anklebone. It makes me smile every time I look down to check on the healing progress and my hope is that someday my son will think this decision at least remotely "cool". If not I will, for lack of a better word, cherish this commemoration of his birth until the day my spirit no longer inhabits this planet.

Completely Insane??!!

Oh yeah. Totally there. Yesterday, while surfing, I picked out new baby boy bedding (to the right) and YES - baby girl bedding (to the left). I fantasized that we could paint the nursery a nice, robin-egg blue with the geo print and a bright, happy yellow with the moon and stars. Hello, hormones!!!

No Gnews Is Good Gnews

Pic of the day: Nana! Not in front of the guys!!

WOW - it's been quite awhile since I've updated my blog! Sorry to neglect you all but it has been a slow news month. Everything is blissfully quiet here at the Mayflower building as we all settle in for the long, hot summer. Miles has fully acquired two brand new teeth and has sampled oatmeal and bananas with them. He's had his first trip to the mall which he was not fond of. To give him credit, most men don't care for the mall to begin with so I really can't fault him too much.

This morning I went to yard sales with Mom (Nana) and man did this kid ever make out with some serious loot!! We hit about 5 different sales and got hundreds of dollars worth of clothes for about 50 bucks not to mention the dozens of books and colorful toys we scored. We always meet the strangest and most interesting people when we go to yard sales. Mom is a kind soul and believes in tipping the homeowners if they are reasonably nice and appear to be having the sale because they are in dire need of money. One rich lady had a huge spread of 30 year old crap that no one wanted and when she actually started collecting our things and counting up the total (something no one had done all morning) she totally lost her commission on the sale. It was obvious to us that this women had plenty of money, she was just cleaning out her attic. Plus, she was borderline rude so no extra spare change for her!

Also, I've noticed a phenomenon at yard sales that really has been bugging the living hell out of me: the Mexicans. Understand I have nothing personal against Mexicans or any other minority group for that matter as long as they act as decent and polite as I do. However, over the past year I have encountered various groups of non-English speaking Mexican folk who travel around to EVERY SINGLE YARD SALE IN MEMPHIS and almost ruin the whole experience for everyone around them.

For starters, they always attack in caravans. Huge vehicles packed full of entire families trail each other to hit every spot. They are notoriously cheap with the homeowners, lowballing them for every quarter. But what kills me most of all is how they will without hesitation walk right up in front of you, grab whatever it is you're looking at and walk away with it. Ever been in a buffet line and someone has the audacity to go around you in the line without even saying "excuse me"? That's the feeling I'm attempting to describe here. Hey, I like a deal just as much as anyone else but few things in life bother me more than abrupt rudeness. It's totally uncalled for and really rubs me the wrong way. What's the point I'm trying to make here? I dunno. Maybe I have PMS. I'm going to go finish my dill pickle and sort through my son's new clothes while I teach him Spanish as a second language so he can at least have the capacity to go off on jerks like this in their own native tongue.

Miles' First Graduation!

His cousin, the lovely Kaile, graduated from Hernando High yesterday and we all attended a celebratory dinner Friday night as well as the ceremony on Saturday. Congrats to Kaile! You looked amazing and did a great job. We're all proud of you!!

In other news Miles is teething AND has a cold. Talk about being hit with a double whammy.

Aww...Miles' first fever :(

Pic of the day: How Miles usually looks when awakening from a nap.

Our lil bit slept a LOT last night. From 5:30pm til 7:30am precisely! When he woke up he didn't appear to be sick but he certainly was not his happy, fun little self. He loves to play, smile and laugh at us and he didn't do any of those all morning long. He napped from 10 til 3 and when he woke up Matt noticed how warm he felt. Sure enough - he was running a small fever.

I called the nurse and she said Tylenol every 4 hours and to bring him in tomorrow morning if he wasn't better. My poor, sweet little boy. It just breaks our hearts to hear him whimpering pitifully while we're rocking him, snuggling him close and trying to calm him.

I know this happens to all babies eventually and that we're lucky it's taken almost 4 months before it's happened to us but it doesn't make it any easier once lightning strikes.

Naturally, we don't ask for prayer but we'd like our friends to keep us in their thoughts over the next couple of days.

Edited to add: As of the next morning my lil bit has awoken from a 12 hour sleep fresh, happy and fever-free. Hooray for Tylenol!!

First "Real" Mother's Day

Pic of the day: My beautiful mama's day roses!

Friday afternoon the doorbell rings so Matt goes to answer, thinking it was a tenant. No, it was UPS! And he walks in the door with a box from ProFlowers.com!! It was roses from my mom and dad. I told them not to make a big deal but they kept saying, "But this is your FIRST Mother's day and besides we think you're such a wonderful mom." Aww.
Then my great hubby brings me a basket of beautiful purple flowers and a balloon, knowing purple is my favorite color. If you have any doubts just look at my wedding photos. I also got this lovely mother-baby figurine from the Willow Tree line (I collect those.) I'm incredibly lucky to have such a great baby who is so easy and low maintenance. It is these days I will remember once he's a teenager.
Anyway, happy mama's day to all my mama friends out there, which pretty much includes each and every one of you these days!!

Great Movie!

I stayed up late after little bit went to sleep last night and watched all 3 hours of the movie, Magnolia. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. If you have, rent it and watch it again. I sure plan to, mainly so I can share it with Matt but also to pick up on some of the smaller details I missed the first time. It's a long time to commit to for just a movie but well worth it, in my opinion.
Any praise? Disagreements? Post in my comments section and let's chat, shall we?

A Cinco De Mayo Update

Miles just wrapped up his 3 month birthday last week and is changing by leaps and bounds on an almost daily basis. He's been smiling for quite a while but uttered his first genuine laugh a couple of weeks ago as my dad lifted him up in the air. He also enjoys, after a nice big bottle, laying on his back with a paci in his mouth and talking. People always tell you babies say their first word when they're about a year old but I think a 3 month old repeating the word "goya" over and over is quite a feat in itself. I have decreed that the Spanish drink name brand is his first REAL word. I have to admit it was almost creepy to hear a true human-sounding voice coming from that little being who, up until now, has mostly exercised his lungs to scream.
He's also presumably going through a growth spurt since he sleeps not only throughout the entire night but takes several naps during the day as well. This makes it easier on the parents and frees us up to relax and kick back a little bit. His food intake has drastically increased too. He can suck down 8 ounces in a matter of minutes and sometimes takes in a few more ounces right before a nap, just to "top him off" as Matt says.

I'm reading the Girlfriend's Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood, compliments of my girlfriend Cat, and LOVING it. I find myself nodding in agreement to a lot of the material she covers and trying my best to memorize the advice for baby events to come. I highly recommend the Girlfriend's Guide series to anyone who has recently conceived or given birth to their own little one. It's the most honest book I've come across without all that scary medical mumbo jumbo that can give a poor pregnant woman a stroke. You know the ones - chapters on what WILL happen to you and how there is NOTHING you can do about it. My experience as a formerly prego woman is that 90% of what people told me would happen never did and the other 10% consisted of things no one told me about that happened to me!

On another note, I have come to the conclusion that I am the incredible shrinking woman. In my 9th month I was topping out the 190's on the scale and, according to my doctor's appointment this morning, I'm currently at a svelte 134. That's even less than I weighed pre-pregnancy! The kicker is that I don't diet and I don't exercise. I call it "the newborn diet". When your primary concern is feeding an infant and keeping him happy you can maybe work in some sort of meal every 12 hours and abracadabra - you lose weight! I would be ecstatic if only I could lose that pesky lose skin around my tummy that has been a constant reminder of how BIG I was at the end of my 3rd trimester. Anyone know a good, cheap plastic surgeon?

Miles' First Festival!

Pic of the day: Matt snapped this pic of me & Sugarpop right after I woke up one weekday to take over "the morning shift". Forgive me for looking like absolute crap but I think this looks as if I just told Miles the punchline to a great joke that he found absolutely hilarious.

Yesterday we made our second annual trek down to the river for the Crawfish Festival. Neither of us really eat crawfish but we have a friend who is a through and through Cajun woman who loves all things N'Awlins so she, her husband and three girls rent a VIP tent space each year. It's a bit of time for us to hook up with dear friends in wonderful, warm spring weather.

We packed the diaper bag TIGHT full of virtually everything a baby could possibly need without bathroom access...except a hat. Right after we popped him into the Hotsling and started walking from the car I looked down and saw that bald, little head totally and completely exposed to the hot sun and suddenly remembered I had the perfect wide-brimmed hat at home someone had given us at our shower last year. Curses!! So we kept him either in the shade or in his car seat for most of the day.

I loved watching his reaction to all these things he was experiencing for the very first time: a large crowd, Zydeco bands, other kids and babies. Then there were smells from the corn dog stand, funnel cakes, grilled burgers and corn on the cob. He silently watched with huge, interested eyes while sucking on his fist and cuddling up against me in his sling. Speaking of the sling, I made a bet with Matt that we would be the only people in that entire crowd wearing one and I was right. In a wide open park a stroller is ideal but in tight, crowed quarters around drunk people a Hotsling was the best $30 we ever spent. And we got so many smiles, comments and questions while we were wearing it! I love being in "the parent club" and striking up conversations with strangers on the phases of infanthood. Being a mom rocks so much more than I ever expected.

Also, last night my best girlfriends K and Cheri (names slightly changed to protect the guilty) and I carpooled over to our newly prego girlfriend Cat's place to dump some loot on her. I had no idea before I became pregnant that something snaps in a new mom's head making her want to give away lots of the stuff she used when she was formerly pregnant that came in handy along with some things she knows the preggers girlfriend will need. During the move I sorted through every scrap of my clothing and came up with 2 boxes worth of maternity clothes, a bottle brush (whoever invented those gets a hug from me) and a whole bag of newborn diapers we never even used since our lil one grew so fast. The three of us talked, laughed and drank wine for hours as Cat sat quietly, sipping her water and listening to our stories. It must have been a lot for the poor girl to take in but Cheri and I have been "on the front lines" with one child each and have a lot to share as far as safe remedies for all ailments of pregnancy as well as birthing advice. Cheri had a VERY fast natural childbirth with no time for an epidural while I, of course, had a c-section with lots and lots of great medication. Depending on Cat's progression there's no telling what path she will end up taking. Hopefully, having good girlfriends around to impart their sageness helped her feel a bit more at ease. After all, it's a scary process and a first-timer has no idea what to expect. Cat, any time you have a question no matter how trivial or "gross" you might think it, please do NOT hesitate to call or email your "fairy godmothers" and we will be happy to oblige.

Having a baby? BUY THIS!!

The Summer Infant 900 MHz 2.5" color LCD screen baby monitor. Yes, it's very pricey. But it is by far the coolest thing I have ever purchased for my child. It shows color during the day and black and white at night. Matt and I put the handheld piece on the coffee table while we were eating supper and watched "the Miles show". Then, while he was at work, I would roll over in bed several times during the night and flip on the screen so I could see what my sugarpop (as I call him) was up to. It picks up the slightest sounds and movement so us paranoid new moms can always make sure our lil ones haven't caught the SIDS. (Yeah, we call it that on purpose as if it's a contagious disease.)

I paid big bucks for mine because I had a JCPenney gift card but you can get it for much cheaper at Walmart. Cat, if you're reading this - it is WELL worth the investment. Put it on your baby registry!!

Life Changes Quickly

Between moving from our tiny shoebox one bedroom apartment to a huge ample two bedroom, facing the death of my last remaining grandmother and taking care of an infant you could say I've had a very busy last couple of weeks. And, since I wasn't feeling especially positive, I opted to refrain from blogging until today.

To recap the funeral was lovely. My dad found a company who sends out a lady with a giant basket of white doves to be released at the gravesite and it was one of the most impressive things I think I've ever seen. My brother and I released them and, to be honest, I think we were a bit scared of them. After all, we grew up around dozens of dogs and cats (even the occassional goldfish - Figaro, I believe it was named) but never a bird. However, the "bird lady" assured us that these doves are well trained and will simply fly back to their corporate headquarters...or wherever it is they call home.

Both of my aunts came which always greatly surprises me as well as my Papaw which filled dad's wish of wanting a picture of him with his greatgrandson. I read the eulogy and screwed up several times, embarassing myself. Nevertheless my husband assured me no one noticed except for the hard time he gave me for replacing the word "retired" with "retarded". Guh. Sue, I apologize for looking like such a schmuck.

Our new place is awesome. Matt and I have been living happily in an ultra tiny cubbyhole for the last 2 years and never would have moved at all if it hadn't of been for the little one. When one person is trying to sleep with only a thin wall between them and a screaming newborn being comforted by another it becomes quite clear that more square footage is needed. Who knew something so small could command so much room?! We chose our own colors for all the rooms (I'm especially proud of the bathroom) and now have a patio so large that we can fit all our outdoor furniture along with the grill and baby swing together. It's a LOT closer to the street whereas before we were in the center of the courtyard so traffic is a lot noisier but the sacrifice is well worth it. Plus, I had a great excuse to go out and buy this ultra pimp baby monitor with a color video screen because hey, you never know when we'll be hanging on the clamorous porch while Miles awakens from a nap. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? Yeah, yeah, I know the cheapy $15 one from Target would suffice but I think I will really like my new toy.

Ok, time to get cracking on some Ebay shipments I need to get out today. Have I mentioned I have an Ebay business? No? Well then come on over and check out my store! Inventory is constantly being updated and my prices are almost always negotiable: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZclubdivaQQhtZ-1

Miles' Great Grandmother

Sad news to deliver this afternoon: my only remaining living grandmother, Emma Sue Todd, passed away this morning in her sleep. For many years she was the executive assistant to the founder of Holiday Inn Hotels, something she was quite proud of. Known as Sue to friends and family she was only 3 weeks away from her 88th birthday but has been in declining health for a couple of years now. My father was her only child and he will have quite the burden in preparations for her funeral. This is just one more reminder to Matt and myself why we want Miles to have at least one sibling.
The cool thing is that my dad took baby and myself to see her in the nursing home shortly after his birth for a picture so at least I can show him visual proof of meeting his very own great grandmother.
My only living grandparent now is Papaw, grandfather on my mom's side. I've always loved his visits so it will be nice to see him at some point next week when he comes to pay his respects. My aunts came to my late grandfather's funeral 4 years ago and I'm wondering if they will make it as well.

The craziest part of all this is the timeline. My grandfather, Carl, died in April of 2004. Sue's birthday is 3 weeks from tomorrow so she was born and now has also died in April. My wedding anniversary with Matt is less than 3 weeks away and my uncle Nick died right before Matt and I began dating in April 6 years ago. There's something about April in my life that causes constant life upheaval!